Csonka’s WWE Smackdown Review 7.26.16

Csonka’s WWE Smackdown 7.26.16

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– The Mostly Everyone Else Battle Royal For The Final Spot in The Six-Pack Challenge: Apollo Crews won @ 12:46 [**]
– Becky Lynch defeated Natalya @ 10:22 via submission [**½]
– Non-Title Match: Randy Orton defeated IC Champion The Miz @ 4:22 via pin [DUD]
– Six-Pack Challenge #1 Contenders Match: Dolph Ziggler defeated John Cena, Bray Wyatt, Baron Corbin, AJ Styles and Apollo Crews @ 16:05 via pin [**¾]

– Shane and Bryan are backstage to start the show. They walk and talk their way into the arena, and say that the show is all about the wrestlers and the fans; we then transition into our new opening theme song and video.

OPENING TALKING: We come back to Shane and Bryan in the ring, with the roster surrounding them on the apron. They say September 11th will be the Smackdown Backlash PPV, but first they have to get to Summerslam. They are the home to the WWE Champion, and they need to crown a top contender for Ambrose. They bring out Ambrose to the ring to join the rest of the roster. Ambrose says he is ready for a new challenge and knows that everyone wants a shot at the title and wants to know who is first. Bryan loves that Ambrose is a fighting champion, and they have a plan. They are holding a six-pack challenge match, with the winner receiving a title shot. The competitors will be: John Cena, Bray Wyatt, Dolph Ziggler, Baron Corbin, and AJ Styles. The 6th spot is open for everyone, as they will have a battle royal to assign the final spot. That will be next. This was the basic opening segment, with variations on a theme from Raw. I did like the change of the wrestlers actually being around the ring and “part of the show” instead of separated. Also, Miz sort of got screwed here, as he should have had a slot as the IC Champion. But that’s just my opinion. Also, I hope that they will announce what the plans for the tag and women’s title will be soon, but also realize that they have to take care of the main title first.

The Mostly Everyone Else Battle Royal For The Final Spot in The Six-Pack Challenge: Randy Orton, John Cena, Bray Wyatt, Dolph Ziggler, Baron Corbin, and AJ Styles are not competing. Also American Alpha and the Miz are absent for no reason. Gotch and the Ascension were tossed quickly, as we had the usual slow battle royal big brawl. JBL thinks all luchadores look alike and keeps calling Kalisto Sin Cara. They are also shooting the ring very differently, very tight on the ring. An Uso got tossed as we took a commercial break at about the four-minute mark. Following the commercial, Rowan and English were both eliminated. Mojo got tossed by Del Rio, who then went on a short run and was then tossed by Ryder and Crews. Kane quickly eliminated Fabreeze, and we were down to Ryder, Kalisto, Crews and Kane. Ryder, Kalisto and Crews all worked over Kane for a bit, but then Ryder and Crews decided to fight instead of eliminating Kane. Kalisto joined the party as Kane took a nap. Kalisto hit salida del sol on Crews, and then Ryder slipped off the ropes and almost blew out a knee. Kane tossed put Kalisto, Ryder hit broski boots on both but was hen tossed by Kane. Crews countered a chokeslam and low-bridged Kane scored the win and final spot in the main event. This was a pretty basic battle royal, very bland and average until it picks up in the final moments. The right guy won, which is the good to take from this, but I would have loved an explanation as to why American Alpha and the Miz weren’t in there when they said “everyone else” gets a chance. My best guess is to protect them, which I get, but an actual explanation would have been cool.

– We get a video package for Shelton Benjamin, coming to Smackdown “soon.” That’s good because WWE fans know him and after seeing the whole roster out there, they need more bodies. Shelton is 41, but had a better last year than he’d had in a while so we’ll see how it goes. Also, can he bring Killer Elite Squad with him?

– Dolph Ziggler cut a glass ceiling/stealing the show promo. He claimed that he got lost at some point, losing his way, but tonight it will change because it is back in his hands and tonight, he will take his place at Summerslam. I liked this; it was a simple and short promo with a black background. Short, simple and to the point instead of too long and constant interruptions works way better.

Becky Lynch vs. Natalya: This is out rematch from Battleground. They went back and forth, trying to one up each other, and Natalya getting some good heat for being overly smug. Natalya grounded Becky with the chinlock, but Becky would escape and get a roll up for 2. Becky fired up, connected with clotheslines and then missed a corner clothesline Natalya ran into an elbow, but then swept Becky out of the corner to send us to a break. Post break, Becky was fighting out of an abdominal stretch, but Natalya used the hair to slam her to the corner. Becky scored with the enziguri, went up top and hit an Alabama jam for a near fall. They both fought for their submissions, Natalya hit a German suplex, which got a near fall. They again fought for their submissions, but Natalya nailed Becky with a spinning lariat for a near fall. Natalya went for the sharp shooter, but Becky countered into disarmher to score the submission victory. This was solid stuff overall, but it had too many hiccups early and wasn’t as smooth as their PPV match, although it had a hotter crowd.

ALL THE WOMEN TALK: Becky got the post match interview, and then Alexa Bliss made her debut. Se said that she is their hottest new star, but before she could continue, Naomi made her return. Naomi said Alexa hadn’t done anything, and told her to move to the side, but then Carmella made her debut, but no one sang along with her. Yeah, Eva Marie then cut her off, with a new entrance video complete with over the top voice over. Eva’s entrance video was spectacular. It then just ended there. That felt very thrown together, they decided the best way to introduce the Smackdown women’s division was to throw them out there and say a sentence and get interrupted. No one really got to say anything of note, and no one got to get over due to the poor structuring of this segment. It’s like they had an idea for the segment, they started to write it and then just said… “Eh, fuck it.” This was the exact opposite of the effort put into the women on Raw.

– Baron Corbin promo time, he isn’t winning this shit for his mom or anyone else; he’s winning this for himself.

MIZ TV: Miz hyped that he and his show was a Smackdown exclusive. His guest tonight is… himself. Miz talked to himself and actually switched chairs between questions and answers. The Miz is a hero and movie star you see, married to the perfect women, and the IC Champion. Miz is such an amazing douchebag, Randy Orton then made his way to the ring. Orton thought Miz was talking about him, so he arrived. He claimed Miz was great at playing with himself. Miz tried to hype he Lesnar match, but Orton reminded him that he was good at killing legends, and promised that one RKO would take Lesnar to Viperville. Miz claimed that Summerslam may be his last match, Orton disagreed and teased that his first match back could be tonight, right here, against the Miz. Miz refuse to acquiesce to his request, and said that Orton doesn’t deserve a title shot. Orton then quickly said it didn’t have to be for the title. Rendering it meaningless, and then asked if Miz was afraid of getting his ass kicked in front of his pretty little wife. Orton questioned who pitched and caught in the relationship, and Maryse accepted the match for Miz. I was not a fan of that segment, Miz is great in his role, but Orton coming down with his sophomoric humor and basically saying that the title doesn’t matter (like the Cody Rhodes feud where Orton beat him 47 times and never once cared about the IC Title Cody held) sent a horrible message here.

Non-Title Match: IC Champion The Miz vs. Randy Orton: Miz took a powder early but then tossed Orton to the floor (he took an awkward fall) and that set up Miz to work the shoulder. Orton played into his past, almost throwing a tantrum and acting as he was really hurt to sell the attack on the floor. Miz stayed on the attack, sending Orton to the steps. They rolled back into the ring, Orton hit the RKO and then just sat there. The crowd chanted one more time and he just sat back against the ropes, apparently this is an official time out of some sort. Orton then posed and played to the crowd, hit another RKO and then pinned Miz. I understand that Miz generally is a chicken shit heel and gets a lot of cheap wins, and I also understand that they wanted to give Orton a win in his TV return; they never should have booked this match. I don’t care that Miz controlled the opening, the way Orton hit the RKO and then had tea and sandwiches before winning was horrendous booking. This segment served as nothing more than a burial of the IC Title and The Miz, all to get over a guy that is already over. As Orton would say, this was, “Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.”

– We get a video package for American Alpha; they debut next week.

– We had a young enhancement talent in the ring, when Heath Slater arrived through the crowd and attacked him. Slater cleared him out and questioned why he wasn’t drafted, and told Shane and Bryan to put him in the main event. He led a chant of “sign Heath Slater,” and Shane arrived. Shane said there are better ways to get a job, which offended Slater. Slater told Shane to watch the WWE Network to see that he was the man behind the Nexus, the Corre, the 3MB and the Outcasts. Rhyno then arrived to make his debt and gore Slater and stand tall. Shane and Bryan claimed that Smackdown was, “all about giving new opportunities to new talent,” and have announced the return of Shelton Benjamin and called Rhyno the hottest free agent in wrestling. Yup. It’s not that he and Shelton can’t add anything, but it seems to flay against what the new guys in charge said they were going to do is the point.

– AJ Styles says that this new era feels just like the old one; amazing timing here. He then claimed that they messed up by not drafting the Club and just give him his title shot.

– Bray Wyatt cut a promo; five men will fall and then he will have the whole world in his hands.

Six-Pack Challenge #1 Contenders Match: John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin vs. AJ Styles vs. Apollo Crews: They brawled for 18-seconds and then went to a commercial. That was a shit production choice. We came back from the break with Styles and Bray working over Crews. The played some anything you can do I can do better, and then Bray decapitated Styles with a lariat. Ziggler returned and sent Styles to the floor and worked over Bray. Corbin quickly pulled him to the floor. And then Styles hit the springboard 450 on Bray for a near fall as Cena broke it up. We quickly went into a big move buffet, and then Corbin took control on Crews. Corbin worked a s low and clubbing heat on Crews as everyone else was napping and we took another commercial break. Back from the second break as we got two tower of doom spots and more guys laying around. We again were down to Corbin and Crews slugging it out. Crews countered end of day sand hit the sit out powerbomb for a near fall as Bray pulled out the ref. Bray did his spider walk and hit Sister Abigail. Ziggler then hit the zigzag for the phantom pin as the ref was still down. Cena in and hits the AA on Ziggler, PELE by Styles to Bray, but then he eats the AA and Styles kicks out. Crews up top and hits a high cross on Cena, but Cena rolls through and hits the AA. AA to Bray as well. Corbin in, AA for him as well. Styles then sends Cena to the floor with the springboard forearm, allowing Ziggler to hit the superkick and pin Styles. The good news is that Ziggler is a fresh main event match for Ambrose, but due to his booking he is someone I absolutely do not care about. I mean his most important role this year was in pre-show-mania with Corbin, how could anyone care? They have a few weeks to make me care, but the win did nothing for me and Styles getting pinned again made no sense. The match was pretty lethargic at times and was above average at best.

– Ziggler celebrated and then Ambrose arrived for the stand off. Bryan arrived to raise their arms to close the show. Shane then arrived to join the celebration.

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”